Take it slowly: Advice for parents dating after divorce

Ali Shryock and Scott May are tying the knot this October in the Blue Ridge Mountains. They are both bringing two children into the family from previous marriages. 

"They get along so well, they really wanted this," said Ali.

It took some time to get here, though. Ali and Scott both navigated the delicate world of dating after divorce when you have children.  

For Scott, it started by keeping his priorities in line. "One of my major factors is my kids going into this, and is this person going to be a good fit for them?”

Another key is not rushing. "Introduce things really slowly and not a lot of public displays of affection right off the bat," Scott continued.

Ali agrees, slow and steady is the best approach. "I was really protective of the girls. I would say my friend Scott told me the funniest joke today and kind of drop his name a little bit, but I would not make a big deal. I was really protective of the girls.”

Psychologist Ashley Vigil-Otero supports the same philosophy. "In an ideal world, you'd want to take some time to pause before jumping into something new. Parents need to be aware that their dating could be quite confusing for their child.” 

Ali says the time she took before introducing Scott to her daughters was valuable to her as well.  "Take that time for yourself, almost be a little selfish. You can take that little bit of time to see if this is someone you really want to be with instead of getting everyone invested."

Both Scott and Ali agree a cautious approach can pay off when it comes time for introductions.