Sole survivor of FDNY Rescue 5 Team reflects on 9/11, 25 years later

TAMPA, Fla. - Retired FDNY firefighter Bill Spade loves an ordinary day. He thinks of his family and the little things he once took for granted, taking in the palm trees and the flowers. "How grateful I am to be alive," he said.

FDNY Rescue 5 Staten Island

The backstory:

He loves an ordinary day because he knows how quickly it can disappear.

Spade remembers the Tuesday morning sunrise on September 11, 2001. He remembers his Uncle Joe describing the morning light shining off the Twin Towers as looking like "Emerald City" while on his way to the airport for a California vacation.

He also remembers the energy at the firehouse that morning. "I opened the door to the firehouse; the music is blasting," Spade recalled.

A dozen firefighters sat down for breakfast that morning. By lunchtime, 11 of the 12 would be dead.

Twin Towers evacuation

Timeline:

Bill and the members of Rescue 5 from Staten Island arrived at the World Trade Center before the second plane hit. Spade remembers the enormous ball of flame erupting over the tower and the unthinkable decisions people were forced to make as they jumped to escape the fire.

"We are minutes into this fire, minutes," Spade said. "I saw one couple, a male and a female. They had their arms around each other. They were coming down. And when it was over, they just had their arms around each other's shoulders... But I remember saying if I don't get inside I'll never help anyone. So I just made a mad dash and I made it inside."

He ran up to the second floor of the North Tower to direct traffic and speed the evacuation. He was encouraging people, telling them they only had one more flight to go, when the tower began to collapse.

Trapped in a stairwell: "It was the loudest noise I've ever heard, the screeching metal," Spade recalled. He jumped into a stairwell, shut the double doors, and hugged a standpipe in the corner of the room.

Everything went completely dark and dead silent. Then, he heard the people he had just been encouraging screaming for help on the other side of the door. He also heard another voice in the darkness with him—NYPD Officer John D'Allara from Harlem, who was trapped in the stairwell alongside him.

The two men took turns throwing their bodies against the door until they forced it open about two feet. Spade called out into the darkness: "I can't see you. But if you can see me, come to my light. I'm a fireman."

About 15 people followed his light. Spade and D'Allara put their hands on the wall and guided them out. As they worked together, the firefighter from Staten Island and the police officer from Harlem talked about their wives, their kids, and the things they loved to do. They delivered the group to safety, then went back in to find others.

The final collapse: Just as they were leading more people to the exit, they heard the horrible screeching again. The South Tower had already collapsed, and now the North Tower was coming down right on top of them.

"I got picked up and thrown, 40 feet or so, and got smacked into the wall," Spade said. Smothered in an avalanche of glass and concrete, he had to use his fingers to clear his airway just to breathe. In the darkness, he said goodbye to his wife and his two boys.

"When I said goodbye to my little guy... I said, you'll never know your dad. That hurt like hell," Spade recalled. "It was the worst part of the whole day right there, saying goodbye to him."

Somehow, Spade managed to dig and claw his way out of the rubble.

September 11 personal loss

What we know:

That night at the hospital, Spade asked about the other 11 members of Rescue 5. He named each man, one by one, until he was told they were all gone.

Officer John D'Allara didn't make it either.

Minutes later, his wife called with more devastating news. His Uncle Joe had been a passenger on United Airlines Flight 93, which was hijacked and crashed in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

Following his uncle's funeral, Spade learned that the last man he helped lead to the exit before the tower collapsed had survived. The man's daughter reached out to thank him for giving them 10 more years with their father.

FDNY veteran life reflection

Big picture view:

Twenty-five years later, Spade splits his time between Florida and New York, serving as a docent at the 9/11 Museum in Lower Manhattan. Rather than telling his own story, he focuses on the stories behind the artifacts, and he listens to the stories of the visitors who ask him where he was that day.

For Spade, his story has always been about more than the tragedy of September 11. It is about the families left behind and the life he has lived since.

"When those buildings were coming down, I said goodbye to my wife and my two boys," Spade said. "And I live my life since then with them as a priority."

Today, his oldest son, Billy, is a firefighter. His younger son, John, is an event planner and serves as a docent alongside his dad at the museum. Spade has also lived to see his first granddaughter.

For years, Spade was haunted by dreams of the 11 men he lost looking in at him through a window. That lasted until one night when his good friend Mike Fiori appeared in the dream, knocked on the window, and gave him a thumbs up. Spade never had the dream again.

"We have so much to be thankful for in this world, and we don't take that into effect too often," Spade said. "I go to bed every single night, I say thank you for this day on earth, and if I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to make it a better day, I'm gonna make it a great day. Every day in life is so precious. It's good to be alive."

Florida presentation dates set

What's next:

Bill Spade is now sharing his story in a live presentation called Behind the Lines: A 9/11 Story. The presentation will take place at the University of Florida on November 10th and in The Villages on November 11th.

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