What grief and loneliness can look like around the holidays, ways you can help

TAMPA, Fla. - The holiday season can stir up feelings of grief as people navigate loss and loneliness from Thanksgiving to Christmas and into the new year.

What they're saying:

Kenisha Billingsley is the spiritual health and education director at Tampa General Hospital.

"Grief feels like the pause in the celebration because there's a recognition that there are folk I would want to celebrate this moment with me," Billingsley said. "And they are not here."

Billingsley said she is intimately familiar with grief both personally and through her work at TGH.

"Oftentimes when we think about grief, we think about grief related to someone transitioning or dying," Billingsley said. "But we know that grief is a bit more expansive."

Billingsley says grief can stem from many sources.

"Grieving the loss of relationships, grieving the loss of jobs, grieving the laws of mobility and function, grieving the loss of health," Billingsley said.

Billingsley said grief is not something you fix. It's something you support loved ones through.

"The power of presence cannot be overemphasized," Billingsley said. "Showing up and being available and being present without the burden of having to fix it or solve it or make it be different than what it is."

Dr. Elizabeth Bendick is a clinical psychologist with EB Therapy Services. She said avoidance can make the sadness worse.

"Grief is like a snowflake. All of them look kind of similar, but when you zoom in, they all got their unique fingerprint," Bendick said. "So, assuming that you know what somebody is going through or how they are navigating or interacting with that grief, and the emotions behind it, I feel like is an ineffective solution."

How to handle it:

Instead, approach it with kindness and allow the person the space to share.

"Avoiding uncomfortable feelings often perpetuates the feelings of being alone," Bendick said. "So, when you can connect with somebody through curiosity, they're gonna let their guard down."

If a person is not ready to talk, it is important not to take it personally.

"Honoring their expression or have space and boundary, and you can say, ‘Hey, totally respect that,’" Bendick said. "I'm here if you ever need me. So, you're acknowledging that there's no hard feelings about it."

New Year's Eve is right around the corner, and this time of year can also highlight feelings of loneliness, especially surrounding romantic partners.

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Billingsley said 1 in 5 adults feel lonely, according to a recent Gallup survey.

"We are people who depend heavily on devices and social media and cell phones and FaceTime," Billingsley said. "But none of that replaces being across from the table sharing a meal. None of that replaces game night. None that replaces the connectivity of having someone to hug you and to embrace you."

What you can do:

Billingsley and Bendick said you can be the change in this world when it comes to sadness around the holidays and into the new year. 

Reach out to friends and neighbors and invite them to spend time together or attend a holiday party or gathering.

These experts said to take special care of the seniors in your life, from your own family to friends, neighbors and coworkers, as they are very vulnerable to loneliness and grief this time of year.

One suggested cooking a meal for someone that might live alone or inviting them to spend time together or with your family.